I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
