And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize