Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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