Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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