Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
