I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
