I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We're too hungover to prance.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
