i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
