can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
