I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
