I am puke
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
