I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
