then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
