It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
