my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
