so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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