how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
