So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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