when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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