It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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