i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
