the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
