He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
