You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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