i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
