just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
