ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
