i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
