ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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