Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
