he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
