"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
