The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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