Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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