On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
