in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
