You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
