He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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