Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
