Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
