Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize