Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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