I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
