We won't sleep together?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
