What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
