If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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