he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
