I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize