Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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