I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
