weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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