I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
