Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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