i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Drake has all the answers
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
