OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize