Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
