you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
then he tried to convert me to islam
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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