does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
