His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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