Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
