No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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