if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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