I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize