Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm jealous of your bromance
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
