WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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