Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
