Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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