and she was petting her beer can
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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