Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
